also told how they put her underneath a plastic wrap blanket to get more humidity and heat to her. We thought it sounded a little funny, but it made sense. She did have to go under photo therapy lights to help decrease her billirubin, which is what causes jaundice. She gets to wear cool sunglasses while she under the lights though! Dr. Parilla explained that they went ahead and switched her from a conventional ventilator, which allowed Emma to still take some of her own breaths over the machine, to a high frequency ventilator or what they call an oscillator. This is a ventilator, which constantly blows air and oxygen into her lungs, leaves nothing for Emma to do. The oscillator has two important rates that the doctors look at. One is the oxygen requirement. What we breath is referred to as "room air" which contatins 21% oxygen. They are able to give Emma more O2 depending on her needs. The other number is the amplitude. This adjusts the amount of pressure that is put into Emma's lungs. This will also help keep her Co2 levels down. It was more support but was a little more gentle on the lungs. Eric and I had breakfast and then we headed off to the NICU about 9:00. When we got there, the secretary at the front explained that they were doing thier hands-on (this is where the nurses assess the babies, reposition and change them) and said that she would call our room when the nurse was ready for us. Being naive, Eric and I walked right back to my room like nothing was wrong. When 10:00 rolled around, I started to get a little nervous and by 10:30 we were both pacing. The phone finally wrang and they let us know that we could come back and see her. We got into the NICU and scrubed for our 30 seconds like we did every other time we walked in. When we rounded the corner my heart sank into my chest. Every doctor and nurse was standing outside of Emma's room and I saw a very familiar cart parked out in front of her door. The cart was a code cart and had all of the respiratory equiment on it. Dr. Parilla walked us into her room as she began to explain what had happened this morning I began to cry. She told Eric and I that her breathing tube was pulled out and that Emma was not able to handle breathing without it. She soon dropped her oxygen saturation and then her heart rate. They had to do chest compressions on her while they tried to get her re-intubated and hooked back up to her ventilator. Dr. Parilla then asked us the question that I hope no parent ever has to answer. She asked us how far we wanted to push her if this was to happen again. In other words, when do you want us to stop trying to save your daughters life. Eric and I both decided that Emma didn't need to suffer and that if this did happen again and Emma's heart would not beat on it's own after 20-30 minutes of chest compressions, that we would have to let her go. I can't even begin to tell you what that feels like and how much it hurt to say those words. At this point, Dr. Parilla explained that Emma's "honeymoon phase" was not going great and her survial rate at this point was not looking good. They went ahead and ordered a cranial ultrasound of Emma's head to see if there was a bleed present. The tech came and went and we finally got word that the ultrasound was normal. Eric and I just sat in her room and looked at her, praying that God would save our baby, whether that meant keeping her here with us, or taking her up there with him.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Day 3
Today was a day that Eric and I thought we would never have to expierence. We woke up and called down to the NICU and asked how Emma's night went and we were told that she was still stable and had no real changes. She was starting to pee more and more so that was a plus. They 
also told how they put her underneath a plastic wrap blanket to get more humidity and heat to her. We thought it sounded a little funny, but it made sense. She did have to go under photo therapy lights to help decrease her billirubin, which is what causes jaundice. She gets to wear cool sunglasses while she under the lights though! Dr. Parilla explained that they went ahead and switched her from a conventional ventilator, which allowed Emma to still take some of her own breaths over the machine, to a high frequency ventilator or what they call an oscillator. This is a ventilator, which constantly blows air and oxygen into her lungs, leaves nothing for Emma to do. The oscillator has two important rates that the doctors look at. One is the oxygen requirement. What we breath is referred to as "room air" which contatins 21% oxygen. They are able to give Emma more O2 depending on her needs. The other number is the amplitude. This adjusts the amount of pressure that is put into Emma's lungs. This will also help keep her Co2 levels down. It was more support but was a little more gentle on the lungs. Eric and I had breakfast and then we headed off to the NICU about 9:00. When we got there, the secretary at the front explained that they were doing thier hands-on (this is where the nurses assess the babies, reposition and change them) and said that she would call our room when the nurse was ready for us. Being naive, Eric and I walked right back to my room like nothing was wrong. When 10:00 rolled around, I started to get a little nervous and by 10:30 we were both pacing. The phone finally wrang and they let us know that we could come back and see her. We got into the NICU and scrubed for our 30 seconds like we did every other time we walked in. When we rounded the corner my heart sank into my chest. Every doctor and nurse was standing outside of Emma's room and I saw a very familiar cart parked out in front of her door. The cart was a code cart and had all of the respiratory equiment on it. Dr. Parilla walked us into her room as she began to explain what had happened this morning I began to cry. She told Eric and I that her breathing tube was pulled out and that Emma was not able to handle breathing without it. She soon dropped her oxygen saturation and then her heart rate. They had to do chest compressions on her while they tried to get her re-intubated and hooked back up to her ventilator. Dr. Parilla then asked us the question that I hope no parent ever has to answer. She asked us how far we wanted to push her if this was to happen again. In other words, when do you want us to stop trying to save your daughters life. Eric and I both decided that Emma didn't need to suffer and that if this did happen again and Emma's heart would not beat on it's own after 20-30 minutes of chest compressions, that we would have to let her go. I can't even begin to tell you what that feels like and how much it hurt to say those words. At this point, Dr. Parilla explained that Emma's "honeymoon phase" was not going great and her survial rate at this point was not looking good. They went ahead and ordered a cranial ultrasound of Emma's head to see if there was a bleed present. The tech came and went and we finally got word that the ultrasound was normal. Eric and I just sat in her room and looked at her, praying that God would save our baby, whether that meant keeping her here with us, or taking her up there with him.
also told how they put her underneath a plastic wrap blanket to get more humidity and heat to her. We thought it sounded a little funny, but it made sense. She did have to go under photo therapy lights to help decrease her billirubin, which is what causes jaundice. She gets to wear cool sunglasses while she under the lights though! Dr. Parilla explained that they went ahead and switched her from a conventional ventilator, which allowed Emma to still take some of her own breaths over the machine, to a high frequency ventilator or what they call an oscillator. This is a ventilator, which constantly blows air and oxygen into her lungs, leaves nothing for Emma to do. The oscillator has two important rates that the doctors look at. One is the oxygen requirement. What we breath is referred to as "room air" which contatins 21% oxygen. They are able to give Emma more O2 depending on her needs. The other number is the amplitude. This adjusts the amount of pressure that is put into Emma's lungs. This will also help keep her Co2 levels down. It was more support but was a little more gentle on the lungs. Eric and I had breakfast and then we headed off to the NICU about 9:00. When we got there, the secretary at the front explained that they were doing thier hands-on (this is where the nurses assess the babies, reposition and change them) and said that she would call our room when the nurse was ready for us. Being naive, Eric and I walked right back to my room like nothing was wrong. When 10:00 rolled around, I started to get a little nervous and by 10:30 we were both pacing. The phone finally wrang and they let us know that we could come back and see her. We got into the NICU and scrubed for our 30 seconds like we did every other time we walked in. When we rounded the corner my heart sank into my chest. Every doctor and nurse was standing outside of Emma's room and I saw a very familiar cart parked out in front of her door. The cart was a code cart and had all of the respiratory equiment on it. Dr. Parilla walked us into her room as she began to explain what had happened this morning I began to cry. She told Eric and I that her breathing tube was pulled out and that Emma was not able to handle breathing without it. She soon dropped her oxygen saturation and then her heart rate. They had to do chest compressions on her while they tried to get her re-intubated and hooked back up to her ventilator. Dr. Parilla then asked us the question that I hope no parent ever has to answer. She asked us how far we wanted to push her if this was to happen again. In other words, when do you want us to stop trying to save your daughters life. Eric and I both decided that Emma didn't need to suffer and that if this did happen again and Emma's heart would not beat on it's own after 20-30 minutes of chest compressions, that we would have to let her go. I can't even begin to tell you what that feels like and how much it hurt to say those words. At this point, Dr. Parilla explained that Emma's "honeymoon phase" was not going great and her survial rate at this point was not looking good. They went ahead and ordered a cranial ultrasound of Emma's head to see if there was a bleed present. The tech came and went and we finally got word that the ultrasound was normal. Eric and I just sat in her room and looked at her, praying that God would save our baby, whether that meant keeping her here with us, or taking her up there with him.
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